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How We All Love Management Speak


Touching Base

You must all work as a team,
The managers constantly say,
Let our upward trends
Signpost us on our way.

It must all be process driven,
Embedded in your team,
Think outside the box,
Facilitate funding streams.

You must all test for soundness
And work in partnership,
Normalise your outcomes,
Empower the citizenship.

We need to start a dialogue
To discuss our trajectory,
Escalate your feedback,
Become a visionary.

You must exceed your targets
Eight days of every week,
Incentivise your capacity
Procure the outcomes we seek.

Pass me the Ibuprofen
Before my head collapses,
I do my job much better
When I’m left to my own devices.

They can’t allow that of course,
That denies them leverage,
You have to be coterminous
In assigning brokerage.

If you can’t be clear, be quiet
Is all I have to say,
You can stick holistic governance
From the start and close of play.

Hell, now I’ve caught the infection,
I upscale blue sky think,
Is there any cure for this?
God, I need a drink.


Do we ever learn from history?


“[In a period where] human equality became technically possible…practices which had long been abandoned, in some cases for hundreds of years – imprisonment without trial, the use of war prisoners as slaves, public executions, torture to extract confessions, the use of hostages, and the deportation of whole populations – not only become common again, but were tolerated by people who considered themselves enlightened and progressive”

Believe it or not, that was written by George Orwell over 60 years ago in his novel “Nineteen Eighty Four”.
Plus ca change indeed.

Nick Cohen: Writing from London

Journalism from London.

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